Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Divorcing.
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU, and abortion clinics. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell...
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us You can have the peaceniks, and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand and Jane Fonda with you
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU, and abortion clinics. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell...
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us You can have the peaceniks, and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand and Jane Fonda with you
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Friday, September 25, 2009
Well, still home sick.
But here's a random! :)
Have you ever seriously thought about your cravings? Do you ever wonder if it actually means something? Say, your body needs something so your subconscious brain remembers back to a time when it got that "something." Then your subconscious shoots an email to your conscious brain and says, here, "crave this!" Or something like that.
My two main cravings are chips/salsa and chocolate. Now chocolate is a pretty easy one. It's been proven that chocolate is somehow linked to serotonin levels in your brain... aka, the "feel good stuff." So that explains why I always crave that.
But chips and salsa? Does my body want sodium? Whatever that goodness is in tomatoes [eg. lycopene, an antioxidant; vitamins A&C]? Jalepenos? I don't know. Am I really the only one that craves chips and salsa... even when I'm sick?
Let's say you crave a doughnut. Does that mean your body "needs" sugar, fattening calories, and nasty fried food? I doubt it. But maybe your body is telling you it needs something to eat... or something as a pick me up to get some energy. In that case, I'd probably go for a protein bar.
So.... Does this actually happen? This physical reason for a mental thought... Or is this just a figment of my imagination?
Either way, I'm hungry!
Have you ever seriously thought about your cravings? Do you ever wonder if it actually means something? Say, your body needs something so your subconscious brain remembers back to a time when it got that "something." Then your subconscious shoots an email to your conscious brain and says, here, "crave this!" Or something like that.
My two main cravings are chips/salsa and chocolate. Now chocolate is a pretty easy one. It's been proven that chocolate is somehow linked to serotonin levels in your brain... aka, the "feel good stuff." So that explains why I always crave that.
But chips and salsa? Does my body want sodium? Whatever that goodness is in tomatoes [eg. lycopene, an antioxidant; vitamins A&C]? Jalepenos? I don't know. Am I really the only one that craves chips and salsa... even when I'm sick?
Let's say you crave a doughnut. Does that mean your body "needs" sugar, fattening calories, and nasty fried food? I doubt it. But maybe your body is telling you it needs something to eat... or something as a pick me up to get some energy. In that case, I'd probably go for a protein bar.
So.... Does this actually happen? This physical reason for a mental thought... Or is this just a figment of my imagination?
Either way, I'm hungry!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
We really need a peephole.
Because then I wouldn't answer the doorbell, give money out to random people who insult me, and for causes that I really don't support.
Le sigh.
And I'm sick.
But they gave me a prescription for my very own inhaler! Yay!
Le sigh.
And I'm sick.
But they gave me a prescription for my very own inhaler! Yay!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Note to self #4703
Bring allergy meds to convention. And get tested for asthma so I can have my own inhaler.
Convention was great. I'm talking absolutely wonderful-great. I am not. My asthma really got the best of me. My allergies got the best of me. And now I think I'm getting some type of lung infection/sore throat business from it all.
I sound like a man.
Sigh.
Any suggestions?
PS. My dearest hubby is home this week... glory be. I'm lovin it! :)
Convention was great. I'm talking absolutely wonderful-great. I am not. My asthma really got the best of me. My allergies got the best of me. And now I think I'm getting some type of lung infection/sore throat business from it all.
I sound like a man.
Sigh.
Any suggestions?
PS. My dearest hubby is home this week... glory be. I'm lovin it! :)
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Happiness is:
Fresh laundry smell.
Good deals in the grocery store.
The Office, Private Practice, Greys, and Castle returning.
Beautiful summer weather... FINALLY!
Getting some shoes sent from Heaven for my feet for work.
My first paycheck on Friday.
Finding that they have even a bigger size than before in your favorite brand of tampons!!
Talking silly with Joel.
4 wonderful days of convention ahead... starting tomorrow!!
**Update: A few more things:
Finding control top, yet waistband free nylons that don't fall down.
Finally having a job... and one that is very enjoyable.
Becoming friends with the people you work with.
Good deals in the grocery store.
The Office, Private Practice, Greys, and Castle returning.
Beautiful summer weather... FINALLY!
Getting some shoes sent from Heaven for my feet for work.
My first paycheck on Friday.
Finding that they have even a bigger size than before in your favorite brand of tampons!!
Talking silly with Joel.
4 wonderful days of convention ahead... starting tomorrow!!
**Update: A few more things:
Finding control top, yet waistband free nylons that don't fall down.
Finally having a job... and one that is very enjoyable.
Becoming friends with the people you work with.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Notes to self #4698-4699
The edges of Parmesan block cheese are *not* edible.
It does not take equal parts of cream and Parmesan to make homemade alfredo sauce.
Double sick.
It does not take equal parts of cream and Parmesan to make homemade alfredo sauce.
Double sick.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Quirk.
I have this "quirk" about my personality. I've read about it throughout the many personality profiles and tests I've done in college/work/etc. And I think it's gosh-darn hilarious.
I'm one of those type-a personalities. You know, the director/the choleric, whatever system you use. Anal. In control, especially of everyone else. Sometimes overly perfectionistic. Not really a need for gushy, mushy compliments and small talk. Get to the point. Can often come off as abrupt or harsh. Wham-bam-thank-ya-ma'am.
Yeah, I'm one of thoooose people.
And the quirk. See, we're pretty good people, we control freaks: we don't really need rules. In fact, we're too good for rules. We've no use for them, and they simply don't apply. You need me to close up 5 minutes after the actual closing time? No-sir-ee, I don't think so. What? I need to rip out that seam and do it again? No way.. that'll work just fine the way it is.
It's not that we hate rules. In fact, we make rules up for other people all the time. We just don't need them for ourselves. And we might be just a bit better than you too... which is why we don't need the rules in the first place. Get over it.
And if we respect you, well, then we'll follow your rule for awhile. Especially if it's a pretty good rule. But just until we come up with a better one.
Now, I am not going to put a little disclaimer here that says I only get this symptom of my personality every so often.. so as not to offend anyone. I'm not. Because I don't need that rule of society.
I'm one of those type-a personalities. You know, the director/the choleric, whatever system you use. Anal. In control, especially of everyone else. Sometimes overly perfectionistic. Not really a need for gushy, mushy compliments and small talk. Get to the point. Can often come off as abrupt or harsh. Wham-bam-thank-ya-ma'am.
Yeah, I'm one of thoooose people.
And the quirk. See, we're pretty good people, we control freaks: we don't really need rules. In fact, we're too good for rules. We've no use for them, and they simply don't apply. You need me to close up 5 minutes after the actual closing time? No-sir-ee, I don't think so. What? I need to rip out that seam and do it again? No way.. that'll work just fine the way it is.
It's not that we hate rules. In fact, we make rules up for other people all the time. We just don't need them for ourselves. And we might be just a bit better than you too... which is why we don't need the rules in the first place. Get over it.
And if we respect you, well, then we'll follow your rule for awhile. Especially if it's a pretty good rule. But just until we come up with a better one.
Now, I am not going to put a little disclaimer here that says I only get this symptom of my personality every so often.. so as not to offend anyone. I'm not. Because I don't need that rule of society.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
OH!
I forgot.
You'll enjoy this.
Our big blue van? Yeah. Universal Studios is buying it to make it into a stunt vehicle. Good ol' Doug is gonna be famous. Too bad they wont tell us what movie it's going to be in!
You'll enjoy this.
Our big blue van? Yeah. Universal Studios is buying it to make it into a stunt vehicle. Good ol' Doug is gonna be famous. Too bad they wont tell us what movie it's going to be in!
I was so excited...
... and then I realized that I'd have to entertain you all with something besides my job hunt. :)
So I was on the search for "blogable" items all day today as I strolled through my first day. And came up with this. I had to watch this reeeaaaaallly boring video about scammers and identity theft people.
The only thing that kept me from falling asleep: the boring guy just sitting there speaking moved just enough throughout the video that whatever little speck there was on the screen looked like it was going up each nostril.
Sorry, it's all I got. I had a great first day, btw. :)
So I was on the search for "blogable" items all day today as I strolled through my first day. And came up with this. I had to watch this reeeaaaaallly boring video about scammers and identity theft people.
The only thing that kept me from falling asleep: the boring guy just sitting there speaking moved just enough throughout the video that whatever little speck there was on the screen looked like it was going up each nostril.
Sorry, it's all I got. I had a great first day, btw. :)
Monday, September 7, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I should get up early more often..
Full day today.... which is saying a lot for someone with no kids, no job (yet), and no husband at home. :P
Failed at making oatmeal for myself. (Okay, it was good, but still..)
Seriously? You're supposed to take the cover off when you're boiling oatmeal? Sure enough.
Went to Grandma B's to have her help me finish up my sewing project..
Both her and Grandpa weren't too impressed with the jeans that I picked out for this second one... haha. We sewed polka-dot patches behind all the rips and tears though... :)
Came home and did 3-weeks worth of laundry (I do Joel's every week... but I have tons more clothes! haha), and edited pictures for 5 hours. They're not my own, but I'll ask if I can post them on my photo blog. I love the power of Photoshop!
[Disclaimer: Please do not call Adobe. They do not care if I say "Photoshop" on my blog. Seriously.]
And now I'm enjoying this awesome lettuce salad that I absolutely have to share the recipe with you.
Olive oil
White wine vinegar
Parmesan cheese
Dill
Some type of lemon/herb seasoning
A little garlic/onion powder
Salt
Just dump that all on your salad and toss!
Except I added Parmesan after I took the picture.. :)
And Joel just called and said they're on their way home tonight! Woo hoo! :)
Failed at making oatmeal for myself. (Okay, it was good, but still..)
Seriously? You're supposed to take the cover off when you're boiling oatmeal? Sure enough.
Went to Grandma B's to have her help me finish up my sewing project..
Both her and Grandpa weren't too impressed with the jeans that I picked out for this second one... haha. We sewed polka-dot patches behind all the rips and tears though... :)
Came home and did 3-weeks worth of laundry (I do Joel's every week... but I have tons more clothes! haha), and edited pictures for 5 hours. They're not my own, but I'll ask if I can post them on my photo blog. I love the power of Photoshop!
[Disclaimer: Please do not call Adobe. They do not care if I say "Photoshop" on my blog. Seriously.]
And now I'm enjoying this awesome lettuce salad that I absolutely have to share the recipe with you.
Olive oil
White wine vinegar
Parmesan cheese
Dill
Some type of lemon/herb seasoning
A little garlic/onion powder
Salt
Just dump that all on your salad and toss!
Except I added Parmesan after I took the picture.. :)
And Joel just called and said they're on their way home tonight! Woo hoo! :)
This is hilarious.
Not.
So one of the other banks that I'd been in contact with... like a MONTH ago, called me back bright and early this morning with a full-time teller position.
Seriously? You couldn't have called even 2 days ago?
I'm still happy though. :)
So one of the other banks that I'd been in contact with... like a MONTH ago, called me back bright and early this morning with a full-time teller position.
Seriously? You couldn't have called even 2 days ago?
I'm still happy though. :)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
em⋅ploy⋅ment
[em-ploi-muhnt]–noun
1. the state of being employed; employ; service
2. an occupation by which a person earns a living; work; business
3. an activity or the like that occupies a person's time
4. MY NEW PAST-TIME!
Got a call this morning from one of the "financial institutions"... and an offer! My response was Jimmy John's fast. I ACCEPT! :D Now all I have to do is pass the background check, credit check, drug test (phew, I'm so worried here..) and I start next Tuesday. I might even get to have the Saturday of Boyden, and all the days of Marion off work!
It is part-time, but leaning towards 30 hours/week with a definite possibility of going full-time.
WOOOooosh. That was the air from the breath I've been holding since May.
We should all do something to celebrate!
1. the state of being employed; employ; service
2. an occupation by which a person earns a living; work; business
3. an activity or the like that occupies a person's time
4. MY NEW PAST-TIME!
Got a call this morning from one of the "financial institutions"... and an offer! My response was Jimmy John's fast. I ACCEPT! :D Now all I have to do is pass the background check, credit check, drug test (phew, I'm so worried here..) and I start next Tuesday. I might even get to have the Saturday of Boyden, and all the days of Marion off work!
It is part-time, but leaning towards 30 hours/week with a definite possibility of going full-time.
WOOOooosh. That was the air from the breath I've been holding since May.
We should all do something to celebrate!
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