Monday, June 11, 2012

Taking a break. Or something.

I have a bajillion things to do right now. Bajillion is a very technical term, didn't you know? Probably a bajillion images to proof and edit. Plus a stack of papers on my desk that is growing exponentially. It's getting close to the "bajillion" status.

Plus my shoulders and elbows are feeling the fact that I have photographed more hours in the month of June than I did during the first 5 months of the year. Combined. They've been popping, grinding, and all sorts of lovely things. Tendonitis is only a photo session (or 10 burpees) away. Sitting at a computer and typing doesn't help.

Plus I'm hungry.

So that's like a bajillion strikes against me blogging right now. But here I sit with an ice pack on one shoulder and a heating pad on the other. Why? Because, darn it, I feel like blogging.


Ever have those "lightbulb" moments? Flashes of realization?

I had one of those. I think. I am pretty slow at learning these things.

I realize there will be people who will shake their heads in judgement and get all "I-told-you-so" on me. Regardless. I've always been one to wear my heart on my sleeve, so why stop now, right?


I debated even telling you all. It's embarrassing.

Ready? Here it is: I realized that I know absolutely nothing about what I am doing.

There. I said it. Just when I think I have things semi-figured out, something changes. Or goes haywire. Or goes off track with what I had been thinking.

I've come to these few conclusions lately... based some really great articles as well as on my own experience (obviously). But then again, I am pretty clueless. So. Take my thoughts with a grain of salt.

Rest vs. Recovery (The best one that set my mental gears in motion...)
Why Can't I Lose Weight?
On the mend: Healing from Adrenal Fatigue and Dealing with Hashimotos
Body Composition Testing and Losing the Goal Weight Mentality


Here's what's going on.

Weight gain. We're talking 10-pounds-ish from my lowest point, which is about 6-8 more than my ideal.

Body fat percentage increase. Nothing over the top, but about 2%. And. it's. not. going. down.

Sticky shoulders and arms. The popping sounds? Yeah, not good. The chiro told me to cool it with some of my overhead work, or they are going to be out of commission sooner rather than later. I told him I was only split-jerking 105 that morning. My current PR is 125, by the way. Those are definitely one of my top faves for lifts. He didn't really seem impressed. Huh.


Here's what I think I'm doing wrong.

Over-training. (See? I can see you shaking your head and hear you sighing. Stop that.)

Actually, scratch that. I think I'm actually under-recovering. It's so kind of me to beat my body to a pulp and then go sit here in this chair for the rest of the day. No wonder my hip flexors are so achy. I think it's time for more active recovery days. Time to take more breaks from sitting in this very chair.

Over-eating. Maybe. Somewhat. The jury in my mind is still out on this one. I might have gotten a little, um, liberal with my avocado broccoli slaw. ;) But I had to make a change from my extreme ketogenic to incorporate more carbs into my daily diet. However, I AM eating super clean. Do you have any idea how hard it is to say no to wedding cake Saturday after Saturday?? ;)

Too much stress, not enough sleep. I consider this the most important. I can tell dramatic performance decreases when I don't get enough sleep. And stress? What's that? ;)


So. Obviously, I am just kind of bumbling along. Continuing on my journey. Making mistakes and learning as I go.

I have been attempting to back off on some things, forcing myself to quit working at 9 so I can be in bed, and playing around with my diet/food log. The usual things.

These few pounds have got to go. Or they at least have to turn themselves into muscle.

And it is time to let some of these nagging things heal. Hips, elbows, shoulders.. this means you.

And stress? We're working on it.

I'll keep you updated. :)


PS. While I was typing/editing, I made myself spicy dog food. Mmm. So spicy. So yummy.

PPS. Canned, whole chipotle peppers are really unappetizing to look at. Like really unappetizing.

PPPS. I have other random news plus a recipe to get posted eventually. More work needs to get done first though...


Amy McAlpine said...

I think we're all working toward our own kind of healthy balance, and it's hard to admit veering too far in a certain direction. But it happens, and all you can do is learn and move forward. Kudos for the honesty!

Mariah said...

Thanks, Amy. I think you're right about the work in progress. The most important thing is to pay attention to the lessons, right? ;) If something's not working, you might as well change it.

Deirdre Remmers said...

So, I find my heart aching a little when I read this. Not sure why... Sometimes I would just love to wrap my arms around you and hang on for a while. I'm very proud to say you're my daughter, and proud of what you've accomplished already in your 24 years. I just had a flash back today of you and Blair playing in that little closet area next to the kitchen in our Estelline home with dolls, blankets, pillows etc. You played so well with your brothers, whether it was out in the trees or in the house playing school. Thanks for the joy you've brought in to my life.

Mariah said...

Well, Mom, you're not supposed to make me cry! I remember those days too. So many great memories from South Dakota! And I feel privileged to have lived this little ol' life of mine. It definitely wouldn't have been possible to accomplish what I have so far without the support and sweet influence of some very amazing people... like my mom. :) Thank you for always being only a phone call away! <3

Deirdre Remmers said...

Maybe I just want you to think on good things, but I know how the mind explores everything. I would like to have you think on how well you've done, not on how you're coming up short, and have SO far to go. But, its probably better not to try and just skate through things either. Some day it catches up with you. If you continue with as much discipline as you've had, you will do great. You're right about it being a journey. And a journey has hills, valleys, curves, and even some dead ends. (thanks to Anita F.)Try to enjoy the journey.

Deirdre Remmers said...

Love the rest versus recover article. WOW!

Mariah said...

You said that perfectly! I love the thought about the journey. Yes. Hills, valleys, curves, and even some dead ends. I'm hoping by backing off just a touch, I'll be enjoying it even more. :)

Holly said...

My favorite TS Eliot quote is the one that says something about -- Only those who go too far every truly know how far they can go?

Adjusting is tough, but at least you are in a place where you are acknowledging you want to make some changes. I think that says you know A LOT right there, so just because you are struggling don't think you "have no idea what you are doing." That sounds pretty darn smart to me.

You will figure it all out. Just deal with one thing at a time. :)

Mariah said...

Aw, Holly. Thanks for being such a sweetheart. :) I haven't heard that quote before, but I absolutely love the thought.

Disclaimer: I am not a registered dietician, I do not have any type of medical training, and my workouts and training are only intended for my personal recollection and your curiosity. Anything documented on this blog is my personal opinion or a learned experience. All images are subject to a personal copyright unless otherwise noted and cannot be used without permission. If you read to the end of this, congratulations.