Monday, July 9, 2012

Dear Body: Thank You

After quite a few craptastic days, today was good despite a little pain on my walk this morning. Finally.

Lots of wanderings and musings lately, so here is the highlight reel even though I've been absent here on the blog:

First and foremost, my heart is going out to this young man's family. I remember the feelings and thoughts around the time of my brother's death and funeral. I remember feeling calm at first, and it wasn't until a few days later that the overwhelming ache and loss set in. You walk outside, look around, and wonder how everyone else can keep living their lives, how their worlds keep turning, when it feels like yours has stopped. I love a thought shared from the funeral that if we try to avoid pain, we end up avoiding love. That makes sense, I guess, as in order to be comforted, we have to feel that sorrow.

Pretty sure I have adrenal fatigue. This article is phenomenal. I might have actually teared up while reading it.. as it was like looking in a mirror at my very sad reflection. The fix is really only rest and de-stressing along with some additional supplementation, which I'm doing. I'm still trying to figure things out nutrition-wise too. I think I was pushing too hard (overtraining), not recovering and resting enough, while on a ketogenic (extreme low-carb) diet. Then I jumped right into my stressful busy season. It just wore my body out. Then enter injuries, a car accident to make everything worse, and everything gets messy.

So last week, I did a little experiment: rest, relaxation.... and carbs. I increased my veggie consumption by about double and added in a few low-glycemic fruits. Okay, fine. I added in one: blueberries. How did I never enjoy these before? Mm. With the holiday in there, I was able to relax a little more. Results? I'm not quite sure what to make of it.

The good, first: I can sleep! I have been able to nap again (finally!) and can fall asleep without laying there for 15 minutes. I am starting to get some mental clarity back, score! Think I am starting to get some motivation back as well. However, I also gained 4-5 pounds from the weekend (stupid, I knew better than to weigh myself). I had a hormonal/emotional crash Tuesday where I felt very out of control and thought I was having a nervous breakdown. Plus I dealt with some other hormone issues. Even yesterday was just not fun. My relaxing Sunday afternoon nap came to an abrupt halt with a nightmare about a wedding I was failing to photograph, among other emotional crazies.

So, I'm not sure if the whole carb increase was or is a good thing. I know I've been trying really hard to reduce some stress in my life... even if that means only taking the photo sessions that come my way organically from now unto the end of the season. Yikes. That's a little scary.

Sleep is of utmost priority right now, meaning I get ready for bed at 9:00pm. (Oops, it's after that!)

I have been loving Saturday's at home... going to the farmers' market, having fun with friends and family, laundry, spending time in the kitchen. So wonderful. :)

These have been a few of my favorite thoughts from Pinterest lately:

And, one final thought that was passed on to me from my lovely mom in a comment on this blog :
You're right about it being a journey. And a journey has hills, valleys, curves, and even some dead ends. Try to enjoy the journey.

So, I'm trying to appreciate this journey... for what all those hills, valleys, curves, and even the dead ends can teach me. And "even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise." You're a wise man, Victor Hugo. Maybe I'm finally starting to see that dusky pink sky right before the dawn..

Ps. Our tenant is leaving at the end of July. Nothing brings out the crazies like offering a place to rent! Yikes.

Pps. I made something incredibly super delicious the other day. Even the hubby was wowed. And yes, I took pics, so stay tuned.

Ppps. I haven't been the easiest to live with lately... so how about a pat on the back for the hubby? :)


Deirdre Remmers said...

OH YEAH!! You're headed up the mountain, maybe even crested! What a wonderful posting, definitely one of peace again. I'm so glad! My heart hurts when yours does. These times will be a help to you in the future, or maybe to someone else. Love you lady, and yes, kudos to Joel! Love him too!!

LJ said...

Thinking of ya from way down here in FG... appreciate you sharing what you're really thinking and what's really going on....that takes courage! Take care of yourself my dear! x

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